Because sometimes life gets busy

Part of being a mom is having to be strong when you want to break down.  The last three weeks I had a few scares with my husband and son.  It started with my husband complaining of extreme leg pain.  My husband very rarely complains, so when he does, I know it is something that is truly bothering him.  He had varicose vein procedure a year or so ago, so I thought maybe it was bothering him again.  When I saw his leg, I saw how swollen it was and the discoloring.  So I urged him to see a doctor the following day.  He told me he was fine, asked me to apply my essential oils and he would be okay the following day.  In the morning he was still in significant discomfort, so I begged him to get it checked because it could very well be a blood clot in his leg.  I am so glad I nagged him all morning because he went to get checked.  I won't forget reading the text that he had multiple blood clots in his legs.  For the first time in a long time, I was completely overwhelmed with anxiety because he was my rock...the thought of something happening to him scared me.

Soon after finding out about this, my son tells me he found blood in his stool.  This is coming after a bout with two weeks of fatigue, so my fear is that he has bleeding ulcers again.  He had lost so much blood it made him anemic last time.  My husband also suffered from ulcers that caused him to lose so much blood he was in the ICU twice and nearly died both times.

Long story short, husband got put on blood thinners (which is not good for his ulcer history but a necessary evil), son spent 3 days in hospital and had extensive test done on him.

It has been a crazy month, I'm ready for November...not really because that is crazy birthday month...but at least it is fun stuff to look forward to.

The Detrimental Effects of Judgement

So recently my son had a health scare.  He's nearly nineteen and was born with a very severe and complex heart defect. In communicating with several friends, family and his professors I was met with some judgements.  Even though there was no malice in the judgments, it brought me to thinking about how we are people are easily distracted by our want to project our views on people's lives.  I don't think we always recognize it.

I can't begin to even pretend to know what it is like to walk in my son's shoes.  I get frustrated with his many times, but honestly, I can't say I would be a stronger individual than what he is.  Sure, people like to project how they might handle it but it's his journey and I want to respect that.  I don't want him to feel as if he has to conform to how I want him to live his life.  I do want him to know that I am here for him, to hold his hand, to metaphorically carry him when he needs me to, but most of all to serve as more of a light to lead his journey.

He's told me that people are watching him closely to see what he does from this day forward and he feels a bit overwhelmed.  I told him that he focus on his needs and doing what it best from him.  People will judge whether we like it or not, but we must find our truth and live our truth.  I pray that this health scare refocuses him and he starts listening to what his body and soul both need.

Be kind to all you meet for you never know the challenges they may face.