It's been awhile. 40 has been quite a lesson. Shortly after I wrote my last entry, a few things happened. I lost a friendship I valued the last few years, my family experienced one of the most challenging obstacles, my home suffered not one but two major leaks which made us live in a hotel for five months, walked away from my job, learned a good friend had liver cancer shortly before his daughter was born, then lost him to cancer a month after his daughter was born, mom spent time in ICU and learned the job hunting is not for the weak spirited. Phew...that was a lot.
Lost friendships are hard but a part of life. This was a person I interacted with for nearly three years, poured my heart out to. But life took us in different directions and I had to mourn that relationship. While I miss the interaction, I wish this person nothing but the best in life.
I am still trying to figure out how to have a relationship with my youngest sisters. She turned four and all she knows about me is what her mom tells her and to be frank, I am not sure that is the best source of information. But blame it on her being in another country and out of my parent's marriage, then you understand what the complications are. One day I will have a relationship with her, just not right now. I just pray that in the years that follow, she know that I love her, she didn't ask for her position in our family as much as I wished for the position in my family.
The house is finally back together. It took so long but it was well worth it. I now just have to figure out how to pay the lovely deductible. Walking away from my job did many things, crippling us financially was one of those things. But what I have learned is that everything always works out in the end. I am sure that will be case with this.
I walked away from a job I loved because I worked for a person who couldn't appreciate all I had to offer the company. It was a hard decision to make, but the best one for me. At some point in life one has to learn to value their worth. It was my turn to stand up and say I deserved more. She's young, has a lot to learn about life and being a manager and I wish her nothing but the best.
A friend I met playing a phone app became like family to me. We chatted a lot about life, family, his growing family, he was expecting his first child and often asked questions. He was opening up his third new restaurant. Everything was going good. Then he got sick and for a month he asked me how to help him treat the symptoms and I kept arguing with him to see a doctor. He finally did after a month and only because he was starting to have bloody stools. A month or so in and out of the hospital, getting diagnosed with liver cancer (he found out a month before his daughter was born) and then a message that he had his baby. He shared pictures with us for a few days and then we didn't hear from him. Got a message a few weeks later that he had passed, a month after his daughter was born. His death affected me so greatly because I realized just how fragile life is. I mourned the fact that my friend had been robbed of the opportunity of watching his daughter grow up and his daughter was robbed of the opportunity to know how much her father loved her. Life can be so cruel sometimes.
My mom nearly died from complications with bleeding ulcers. This is not the first time, it is her second time having something like this happen. I pray that with my dad home again, she makes lifestyle changes that will enable her to live a life without unnecessary complications. It is hard to watch her struggle to move around and is reminding me just how grateful I am to have the time I have with her. This part of getting old sucks.
Last but not least, I am still looking for a job. I have gone on several interviews and second interviews and there is always someone who edges me out with their work history and my lack of. I know I will find the perfect job someday, I just have to keep my head up. I have a second interview at a Law Firm on Monday and I am actually excited about this position so am praying it all works out...and this job ends up to be where I am meant to be.
Hopefully it doesn't take me another 6 months or so to update.
Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who still read this. I am thankful for all of you.
